Still Not Pregnant My Story

[blessings]

Well I'm back I haven't visited this site in a few months in the hopes that I would stop thinking about pregnancy and all that comes with it.I wish I came back with good news that's what I was hoping on doing but if feels like good news will never come.This was my last round of repronex injections with no positive pregnancy test :confused: I'm not sure why I'm not pregnant neither is my RE I'm creating 1 one or two follicles I'm ovulating and we have done three IUI hoping that would increase our odds but still not pregnant,my RE told me that if I wasn't pregnant by my Fourth round of injections I would need to get a second opinion don't get me wrong my RE is the most caring intelligent concerning Doctor I have ever meant. What doctor do you know that will meet you at his office on a Sunday for an ultra sound no doctor that I ever have had,But I can truly say this is the first time my RE has been at a loss for words he can't even tell me why I'm not pregnant and trust me when those words came out of his mouth you know the situation is bad.I just wish I knew what was wrong my husband has a great sperm count I'm ovulating I have very healthy ovaries my tubes are clear,but for some unknown reason I'm still not pregnant.Sorry for going on and on but I'm truly puzzled ,hurt ,sad,I can go on and on about all the emotions I'm going through to explain how I feel I can tell you in one lump sum I don't feel like a women. One of the most natural things a women does is have babies carry babies breast feed babies and I can't and probably will never be able to do such a natural thing and that makes me feel worthless.The one major thing that separates women from men and I cannot succeed in creating and carrying a life .I know I'm not the only out there in my situation not by a long shot but I just had to let what I'm feeling out.When I was diagnosed with PCOS a couple of years ago I would of never guessed in a million years that I would not be able to get pregnant.I"m so tired of the three to five days a week at the doctors the blood work the ultra sound the injections the weight gain moodiness bloating nausea but most of all the disappointment I have spent the last two years of my life feeling like this way the different kinds of fertility meds I've been on and still nothing.Well I'm done complaining but it makes me feel a little better letting all this emotion out .OH one more thing I think it's a bunch of bull***** that 95% on insurance carriers don't consider infertility a disease they make it sound like we choose to be infertile let me tell you I would never choose to be infertile . I don't think anyone has the right to take the chance for you to have a child away from you just because they don't consider infertility a disease.

[Nikkie]

(((hugs))) , im sure youre miracle will happen for you and your dh.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey

[JulyButterfly]

Blessing, I oh-so-much know how you feel! I started TTC in July, only to discover through HSG that I had a tumor in my uterus. So I had 3 hysteroscopies to deal with that. Bloodwork all comes out normal. I had four clomid+IUI cycles, all BFN. My RE put me through another HSG and hysteroscopy, and he can't find anything wrong with me, either. He figures that the issue is that we're using donor sperm, yet statistics show that it takes an average of less than 3 cycles to get pregnant. So we did a fifth clomid+IUI cycle, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be a failure, too. I've also been on oral progesterone (Prometrium) for luteal phase support despite having normal progesterone numbers. I even ovulate on my own, so why can't I get pregnant? I cried a long time yesterday and I feel like a failure. My body has failed me, and it really sucks. DH says we'll just keep trying, but how much longer can we drain the bank account?

Now, I don't know...do I push for injectibles and start them with the next cycle, or do I wait a couple of months and get some bills paid off? Do DH and I try naturally (the donor sperm is because my husband could pass on brittle bone disease 50% chance) for a while and go back to treatments if I still prove to be infertile? My life feels like it's up in the air. It's hard to come into the pale green computer room that is ready for baby furniture. It's hard to hear about everyone else's pregnancies, even from those people who have tried for years and years. And I loathe Britney Spears for popping them out like they're candy and then being an irresponsible parent.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I'm whining or your post. It's such a lousy situation, and it's pathetic that insurance doesn't cover anything. Heck, right now, I'm fighting to have my second HSG covered! Some laws out there need to be changed...I wonder how one would go about it.

I'm sorry that you're in the same situation I'm in. Unexplained, without any idea of where to go. I like knowing that I'm not alone, but I hate knowing that any of us has to go through this in the first place.

[casper2498]

blessings - I'm sorry that you haven't gotten pg yet. I haven't either :( One thing I can suggest is have you had a lap done? Maybe you have endo or something. I'll tell ya, I just had one done a little over a week ago and I'm sooooo glad I did. Of course it wasn't fun, but now I have some answers! I knew from an hsg that my right tube was blocked, but it showed my left tube was clear. Well, it turns out from my lap that my left tube has a birth defect and is all twisted like a phone cord, so that whole time I was basically working with no fallopian tubes!! UGH!! But, they were able to unblock my right one. They also found a large cyst in uterus, which they removed. They found a lot of smaller ones too, which I have to take Premarin to try to shrink.

Ok, enough rambling. But, maybe if you had that done it would give you some more answers. Just a suggestion. I'm hoping that it now happens for me when I get off my Premarin. I'll be crossing my fingers for you! Good luck.

Janice

[Gabriela2005]

Hello ladies, i know exactly how old of you feel. I waqs in your situation last year it took me 3 years to finally get pregnant.

Blessing i don't what this thing happen but for me was not explanation like you, both were find we had Unexpeined Infertility" What is that!!!. After 3 failed IUIs we decided to try IVF and I got pregnant at the first time.
I was wondering after you do a lap why don't you consider IVF. I know that most insurance like mine will not cover and it is very expensive but it might be an option.
Good luck to all..

[Hoping4BabyM]

I am in the same boat as most of you. We have been ttc for 27 months now and have never once been pregnant. I had a lap done and was diagnosed with stage III/IV endo. I was put on 6 months of Lupron shots and then told I was clear and to begin ttc once again. She guaranteed that I would be pregnant within two months. Well 3 months later, I was sent to see an RE, told that my endo was still there and in fact had gotten worse and that I needed another surgery ASAP. I had surgery in October of this past year. All the endo was removed, several cysts taken off and a tube unblocked. She wanted us to try for 3 months on our own before moving to Clomid. This past cycle, I was on Clomid and had a back-to-back IUI done. It didn't work...I expect AF tomorrow. So 27 months, thousands of dollars, too many heartaches to count and a lot of frustration, we still aren't pregnant. They want us to do another IUI next month. My RE is convinced it will work for us. We haven't decided what we will do. Financially and emotionally, I am not sure how much more we can take. It breaks my heart to have to tell our families every month that it hasn't worked, it breaks my heart to feel like such a failure every month and it really makes me mad to see so many people with children that act like they don't even want them. And despite everything...the people in my town (it is a small town) that have had their first (they started trying when we did or after) are now having their second. Though we aren't supposed to ask why...I can't help but wonder what I did to deserve such devestation.

Yes, I know that I can't give up. I have been told that month after month. But you do reach a point when you have had enough of the pep talks and the encouragment. We really are looking at final options here. IVF simply isn't an option for us...we cannot afford it with no insurace coverage.

[JulyButterfly]

Hoping, you and I expect AF on the same day. Sucky, isn't it? I'm going to call my RE when AF arrives and try to figure out what the next step should be. I'm not sure I want to continue on with clomid, so if I start injectibles, I'm thinking of holding off until May. It's all up in the air at this point, and I hate not knowing what to do.

[Hoping4BabyM]

July - It does suck so much. At different times throughout this cycle, I imagined certain symtoms I might have that could mean something, but all the while I knew I wouldn't be pregnant. It isn't something I have really convinced myself can happen. I plan to call my RE tomorrow and see what is up. I know she will say take the Clomid again and let's do another IUI. Sure...fork out some more money and probably see the same result. With no other option, it is something we have to do if we want the reward at the end but it sucks no matter what anyone says. I still have a bruise and some pain where I had my trigger. You ever had this? Other than that, I had no side effects from the entire procedure/meds.

[casper2498]

Did AF show up for either of you? I hope not :) Hoping-why are you so convince this cycle didn't work? Just curious. Did you test at all? Keep us posted. Take care!

[JulyButterfly]

AF pulled a no-show, but test was negative. Over the last 6 months, my cycles have varied slightly. The first one was 28 days, the second was 31 (I did clomid 5-9 and ovulated later), the third was 28, the fourth was 27 (my normal length), the fifth (did not try that month, so no drugs) was 26. SOOOO...with me taking the clomid 4-8 (although I ovulated the same time as the 3rd and 4th), who knows when she'll really show up. I've been crampy and cranky all weekend, so it's just a matter of time.

[blessings]

Thank you so much for replying IVF is something I would love to get hey I'll try anything to get pregnant ,but we just can't afford it $12,000 to 15,000 is more money then we could ever dream of having .I know how you feel about everyone having babies my sister in law already has two babies her daughter was only 8 months old when she got pregnant again. She is 23 years old and pops them out like candy I wish it was that easy . Plus what makes it really hard is my husband comes from a very large family and is really close to everyone at his church they have grown up together .So every time I see them I'm sure to get asked if I'm pregnant or the best one yet is your still not pregnant.It got so bad there where rumors going around the church that I had won the lottery and was pregnant!!!!!!!! My god could you image that all of our dreams coming true in one rumor. The one thing that bothers me the most is everyone always says maybe it's just not the right time for yous to have children your time will come.Come on give me a break it's not my time but all these kids having kids laying on there backs and boom there pregnant crying about how to get ride of this blessing from god.I see so many girls yes girls weather there 15 or 40 you shouldn't be having sex if you don't plan on having children so many babies are born each day to someone that never wanted them and will never love them . and then there is all of us spending every minute or every day dreaming and praying about having a baby knowing you will make the best parents and will give so much love your child will never grow up feeling unloved .I still do not understand why things work the way they do but I know one thing I will never give up trying to have a child even if at times I say I want to stop trying deep down in my heart I will never give up because I truly believe that I will not feel hole until we have a child .

[Hoping4BabyM]

I just have it in my head that it won't work the first time for us. I know it can but I am convinced it won't. AF did not show up today as scheduled but I am sure she will tomorrow.

[georgiagirl]

Hello ladies. I am a new member, referred by a friend who has been one for a few years. She has since had a baby and I am so happy for her, however my husband and I have been ttc since last April, and have been growing more and more frustrated. I have really gotten a lot out of reading previous posts, and think that a "cheer squad" is exactly what I needed to join! I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one out there having difficulty with this!

Me- 30
dh- 27

[casper2498]

Georgia you are definitely not the only one going through this. There are quite a few on this site. Hopefully you will graduate to the we're pg forum!

Hoping did af show up today? If not I think you should test :) Wishing you the best.

Janice

[Nancy08]

there nothing impossible girls.

If you have big faith, I know God will never fail you:)
Ask and you will receive.



“Miracles happen to those who believe in Him.”

[Babymagic]

Yes ur so iight, Faith is one thing everyone should have close to heart! u will be bless so keep ur spirits up.

[Babymagic]

I understand how you feel cause I had my First IUI on 8/24/09mon, and it was bad , i was down till Friday with fever. then I had my next IUI on 09/16/09 and i can feel that it didnt take cause my breast are killing me and these are all the same signs i have had when my mentrol would be coming. so another heart break for me, i as well dont think injectable are working well with my body but ill keep my faith alive and strong for the both of us...
Keep ur head up and have faith and you will see its going to happpen for you. ill keep you in my prayers and ill keep you posted on my behalf.. you are woman and a strong on so keep trying ......

[bellasmom2006]

Blessings,
I swear I could have written the post you did. Everyone telling me, "your time will come" blah blah blah. They don't understand because they've never been through it. All my friends were getting pregnant & there I was. My dh & I tried for FOUR YEARS to get preg & it never happened. we were blessed to have an HMO so we got to do 2 IVF rounds. the second one took & we have a dd now who's almost 4. I know it sux when everyone around you is getting preg & there are people out there who murder their kids for peeing on themselves & it's SO not fair how THEY get preg & good people don't. the one that killed me was "just relax & it will happen". HUH???? yeah, so the fact that dh has like ZERO sperm count had nothing to do with it...sheesh! they think they're being helpful, but it's more hurtful than anything.
i know there are people who have no insurance or their plan won't cover IVF, and that sux! i think EVERYONE should have coverage for this! we live in IL, and they have a law that everyone has to have infertility coverage, so we are lucky in that respect. Idk if you have insurance or what the plan entails. i would check into it. even if you can do IUI or whatever. They also have a thing called "Care Credit"
http://www.carecredit.com
and you can use it for stuff like this. i hope i'm not being obnoxious...i just want to help...i really do. i hope that you can have your dream of having a baby.
hugs & baby dust to you!